Trauma

I’ve talked to many people with binge eating disorder and bulimia who have significant trauma in their lives. If you carry the weight of trauma, big or small, this message is for you.

Your past is in your past. Everything that you’ve done or has been done to you is in the past. 

At this moment, you are safe and okay.

The reason your past still effects you is because the thoughts you have about it at this moment.

And I’m not saying those thoughts are wrong or invalid.

But if your thoughts are creating pain and causing negative cycles in your life, I have good news.

You can change thoughts. You get to think whatever feels good and serves you. Really diving into the deep, uncomfortable thoughts and understanding them in a new way can free you from the weight they cause you.

You deserve to have the pain of your past taken off of your shoulders.

The things that cause you pain don’t have ANY POWER. You have the power. This is a beautiful thing because nobody can take that away from you.

Having trauma and having an eating disorder doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. And when you begin to see that, everything will change.


And in case you are interested in a FREE session with me to see changes in your life, e-mail me at krista@kristacouchcoaching.com

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What if nothing scared you…

What would your life look like if nothing scared you? It would be a lot easier to take risk, right?

While visiting friends in another state and then again this last week in my local church I have attended a meeting with other women where we have talked about fears.

Many women expressed that they worry that they aren’t enough, about their children’s wellbeing or about losing someone they love. These are scary things. But they all have one thing in common. They cause emotions.

What if we had confidence that no matter how intense or painful an emotion is that you have the tools to sit through it.

This is completely possible.

That is what life coaching is, it gives you the tools to handle food and ANYTHING ELSE that you struggle with.

As long as we are afraid to feel our emotions, they will scare us. And we will turn to things that numb us and distract us.

The way to get through them is to simply feel them. Embrace that you are feeling something uncomfortable and know that it will be done soon. And then the happy ending will come a lot sooner.

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Happy Relationships Have Nothing to Do With The Other Person

Happy relationships don’t have a single thing to do with how the other person is acting. If you aren’t happy in a relationship, you have all the power in the world to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it is ok to be in an abusive relationship. Hear me out though.

There have been times where I have needed other people to love me so desperately because I didn’t love myself. If they didn’t love me in the way that I needed them to, I was upset and made myself miserable.

And as long as you depend on someone else to make you feel lovable, you won’t feel lovable. Believe me, I’ve tried it. You have to love yourself in order to feel lovable.

And when you love yourself, it is a lot easier to love and be loved.

Before I met my husband I went through a breakup and I realized something, I was never going to be happy with someone else because I wasn’t happy with myself.

When I met my husband, I was so happy on my own. But he is awesome and I just enjoy loving him. And there aren’t so many unrealistic expectations. I didn’t need him to love me because I already loved me.

So what’s the point of a relationship if you don’t need to be loved by someone?

It’s someone to love. You get to love someone even when they don’t love you. You get to enjoy how amazing the feeling of love is. You don’t tolerate an abusive relationship, but you also don’t expect anyone to be perfect.

It’s freeing, it’s beautiful and it’s definitely worth celebrating. So love yourself and love all the people in your life, it’s such a beautiful feeling. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Trusting Yourself With Food

While I was in treatment, my dietitian literally put me in a room all by myself with all of my fear foods. Which was basically all the foods I would binge on.

I did fine, but probably because I was in a treatment center and didn’t have the option to purge. If I was truly alone I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle myself around all those sweets and rich foods.

So what hadn’t I figured out yet that made me so anxious around those foods?

I needed to feel confident that I was in control of when I would stop eating the food. I was so used to feeling anxiety around food that I believed that I wouldn’t stop eating if I started.

Then I started to look at my problems in a new way and I asked myself new questions.

What if I trusted myself around food? What if I knew I would stop eating just as confidently as I know I will stop drinking water when I’m hydrated?

I would trust myself to eat my meal and then not worry about eating more when I was done. I wouldn’t worry about eating all the cookies because my body will tell me when to stop.

The reason why is because food started to become more neutral and didn’t cause such a big spike in my anxiety. I felt confident around food and then I ate from a place of confidence.

And how does a confident person eat? With balance and love towards themselves. And that’s exactly how I eat now.

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Routines and Recovery

Weekends in recovery can present many challenges. One of those challenges is a change in routine.

It is really important to maintain a routine on the weekend so that you can avoid bingeing and/or purging.

Getting dressed is a good first step. Even if you’re changing into something comfy it sets the tone to the day and makes a difference in how you feel.

Having a plan on when to eat is also an important part of maintaining a routine on the weekend. When you have a plan to nourish your body with tasty and nutritious food, you fill have a huge advantage when you’re faced with an urge to binge.

Additionally, keeping your sleep schedule relatively normal will help you feel energized and productive during the weekend and make Monday a lot easier.

And most importantly, find ways to enjoy your weekend. Whether it’s going out on the town or spending a night cuddled inside, find a way to enjoy yourself.

I hope that you can feel confident that you can maintain recovery even on the weekend. Just take it one day at a time and one meal at a time.

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Emotions

Our emotions determine all the actions we take in our lives. Yet so many people don’t understand what it feels like to experience certain emotions. This is because very few of us actually experience emotions.

Many people resist emotions, react to them by acting out, and distract themselves with food or their phones. It can be so easy to distract or buffer our emotions in our world that has so much abundance, but their can be negative consequences.

An eating disorder is direct consequence of resisting feeling our emotions. While using any disordered eating behaviors, you are escaping your emotions.

I used to be very distant from my emotions and anytime I felt something uncomfortable I’d run away from it.

The solution is learning to feel your feelings.

Understanding what different emotions feel like make all the difference in how well we understand ourselves and why we have a roller coaster relationship with food.

Here is some helpful steps that can help you become more familiar with emotions:

Don’t Judge It

If you judge sadness, anxiety or any other emotion you won’t be able to fully experience it. Just see it as a sensation. Be curious about it instead of scared of it.

Describe It

Go into detail and describe what it feels like. Think about like a scientist would. What does your body feel like? I know when I get sad I feel warm and an empty sensation. When I’m excited, I feel strong and energized.

Name It

Understanding what an emotion is and how you feel it will offer you so much emotional intelligence. You will be able to observe yourself and the actions you take in your life in a whole new way.

The worst that can happen is an emotion. The more you learn to feel your emotions and embrace them, you will experience your life in a new way. There is nothing to be scared of when the worst thing that can happen is an emotion.

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Vulnerable Binge Times

Is there a pattern to your unhealthy eating? Do you find yourself overeating in the evening? Or finding yourself losing control when you eat a certain food?

This is the perfect time to plan ahead and know what you are going to do. Something helpful is having a thought you can practice thinking.

Lets say you always overeat sweets at night and feel guilty. What if when it comes down to the moment you know exactly what you will eat and you feel confident instead of overwhelmed by the amount of food you eat.

For example, tonight I plan on eating dinner and then a snack after. Putting your snack on a plate or in a bowl is helpful to set a clear start and end to the meal. When you are done eating, it is time to do healthy behaviors like self-care and spending time doing things that you enjoy.

Building a habit of structured eating will give you more and more confidence that you can sit through your “vulnerable times” without falling into a full blown binge.

For me, knowing my body can handle food and knowing that I can eat it again when the next opportunity comes around gives me confidence and trust in myself. And every time I face a situation that would have turned into a binge, I don’t have to think twice because I know that I am not going to binge.

Believing in yourself and your ability to handle it before you are faced with an uncomfortable situation makes all the difference.

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Why You Binge

You binge because you believe bingeing is easier than sitting through the urge to binge. 

Sometimes the urge to binge is so habitual that you forget to investigate why you experience it so often.

An urge is always masking a feeling. Maybe you feel anxiety, discomfort, sadness, anger or shame. The second your brain registers that you are feeling something uncomfortable. BAM! Urge.

If you become comfortable with feeling any emotion, the need for bingeing is gone.

Learning to feel confident feeling these emotions has been some of the hardest work of my life. But at least I’m not missing out on half my life.

I invite you to start this work. I’d be happy to schedule a FREE session with you to teach you about your emotions. Just send me an e-mail at: krista@kristacouchcoaching.com

You binge because you believe bingeing is easier than sitting through the urge to binge. 

Sometimes the urge to binge is so habitual that you forget to investigate why you experience it so often.

An urge is always masking a feeling. Maybe you feel anxiety, discomfort, sadness, anger or shame. The second your brain registers that you are feeling something uncomfortable. BAM! Urge.

If you become comfortable with feeling any emotion, the need for bingeing is gone.

Learning to feel confident feeling these emotions has been some of the hardest work of my life. But at least I’m not missing out on half my life.

I invite you to start this work. I’d be happy to schedule a FREE session with you to teach you about your emotions. Just send me an e-mail at: krista@kristacouchcoaching.com

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Compelling Reason

Do you have a compelling reason to recover? The only reason we accomplish anything is if we believe that it is worth it. You have to believe that your reason to recover is more important the intense desire you feel during an urge to binge.

What are your reasons? What makes it worth it to you to sit through intense discomfort?

Really think about it.

And if your reason is strong enough, you will be able to resist an urge.

If you give into an urge, it’s time to think about what reason is more compelling than your current reason.

My compelling reason is that I want to make something of myself. In an eating disorder, I am the least healthy, happy and productive person that I can be. I don’t like that version of myself and I love the version of myself that is healthy, happy and productive.

So what is your compelling reason. Send me an e-mail to let me know at krista@kristacouchcoaching.com

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Why am I a Coach?

I’m a coach because I have used coaching in my own life. My relationship with food became unhealthy at a young age. I restricted, binged and purged. I was essentially a slave to food.

I didn’t want to live my life as a slave, but I didn’t know where to get help. I saw lots of therapist. I just didn’t see results in my life or have tangible tools to use.

Coaching helped me understand myself and other people in a whole new way. My relationship with myself developed and I began to treat myself better than I knew how to before coaching.

I learned how to make peace with food and my body. I embraced my emotions and learned how to sit in discomfort. I was no longer in a hurry to change everything about my life but it changed drastically. All because I learned to manage my thoughts.

E-mail me today if you want to start your own journey to peace with yourself and food. krista@kristacouchcoaching.com

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