Who are the people in your life that support you in recovery? Does anyone even know what you are going through?
Eating disorders can be isolating. Learning to open up and build relationships with the people around you can be a huge leap forward in your recovery.
So much of the therapy and family groups I’ve participated in have set the false expectation that your supporters need to be careful not to trigger you or say things that make it worse.
I do think it is helpful when supporters learn how to help you in the best way possible, but that isn’t always realistic, some people are going to say things that aren’t supportive. You get to choose how to interpret that.
What if your husband or relative comments about how much food you are eating? Or maybe something about your body? Or someone says you couldn’t be struggling with disordered eating because you look fine?
Their comments are neutral. They only hurt you because of the thoughts you have about them. Maybe you think “are they right?” “I guess that’s evidence that I am fat and ugly”. We can make ourselves miserable with these thoughts.
But what if anyone else’s comments were neutral? It would be a lot easier to accept the support that they do offer without feeling miserable when they say the wrong thing.
Learning to filter your own thoughts and choose your own thoughts is empowering, but it is also difficult. Be patient with yourself if you find yourself offended or upset. Just notice that your thoughts are creating your emotion.