How Can Your Loved Ones Help Your Recovery?

Who are the people in your life that support you in recovery? Does anyone even know what you are going through?

Eating disorders can be isolating. Learning to open up and build relationships with the people around you can be a huge leap forward in your recovery.

So much of the therapy and family groups I’ve participated in have set the false expectation that your supporters need to be careful not to trigger you or say things that make it worse.

I do think it is helpful when supporters learn how to help you in the best way possible, but that isn’t always realistic, some people are going to say things that aren’t supportive. You get to choose how to interpret that.

What if your husband or relative comments about how much food you are eating? Or maybe something about your body? Or someone says you couldn’t be struggling with disordered eating because you look fine?

Their comments are neutral. They only hurt you because of the thoughts you have about them. Maybe you think “are they right?” “I guess that’s evidence that I am fat and ugly”. We can make ourselves miserable with these thoughts.

But what if anyone else’s comments were neutral? It would be a lot easier to accept the support that they do offer without feeling miserable when they say the wrong thing.

Learning to filter your own thoughts and choose your own thoughts is empowering, but it is also difficult. Be patient with yourself if you find yourself offended or upset. Just notice that your thoughts are creating your emotion.

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Growth Mindset

When you’re stuck in a cycle of bingeing and battling with food it can be easy to get discouraged. But what if it is an opportunity?

What if facing your battles with food is your greatest opportunity to grow?

I am so grateful for my battle with food because it has taught me how to manage my mind and increased my self-awareness. I know that I can feel any emotion so I’m not trying to numb the pain when anxiety or depression come around.

My understanding of my potential has increased. I don’t feel like I’m doomed to struggle with food for the rest of my life. In short, I’m a better women for overcoming my struggles.

So why not see your disordered eating as an opportunity?

It is your chance to grow and become the next version of yourself. And it all starts with taking a look in and understanding that your thoughts and your emotions aren’t beyond your control.

If you want help in your journey of understanding the power of your mind, send me an e-mail at krista@kristacouchcoaching.com and we will set up a FREE mini session.

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What is Healthy Eating?

What does a healthy relationship with food look like?

This is a complicated question and it’s something I’ve spent a lot of time contemplating. We all have such different perceptions of what is healthy and how we should eat.

Here are a few tips on how to decide what a “Healthy” relationship with food looks like for you.

Your Body Feels Good

My husband has a lot of stomach issues, so the foods he feels healthy eating are sometimes different from the foods that energize and satisfy me.

We eat foods that we both can feel healthy eating and both have a good balance. Sometimes you have to really consider how your eating choices are impacting your energy and strength. Sometimes this includes a lot of trial and error.

You Honor Both Hunger and Fullness

The skill of tuning into your body and knowing when and how much to eat is emotionally and physically important. Learn the signs your body gives you when you’re hungry and full.

For example, when I’m hungry I begin to slow down, crave food and my mind gets a little foggy. Then when I’m satisfied, my food doesn’t taste as good anymore and I don’t feel the need to eat anymore.

You Eat and Then You Move On

Obsessing over the food I ate has been a regular habit for most of my life. Until I learned to practice managing my mind and using thought work. I would be able to tell you everything I ate and when I ate it for the past week. Then I’d binge and I’d spend days feeling guilty and punishing myself.

Now I can eat and then move on with my day. I still plan and remember my meals, but it doesn’t determine my mood for the rest of the day.

You’ve Found Your Groove

I’ve heard judgement from the body positivity community about anyone who wants to be healthier and I’ve definitely heard the other way around.

A healthy relationship with food requires that you let go of all this chatter and eat in the way that is best for you. Only you know what you need, I’m just here to give you the tools to help you discover what you want your relationship with food to look like.

E-mail krista@kristacouchcoaching.com for a free session today. I work with people from all over the world.

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Single Valentine’s

With all the roses, chocolate, love songs and couples everywhere, it isn’t an easy day to be single. Especially if you want someone in your life.

But even if you are single, I want to point out that it can be a beautiful holiday.

Love is one of the best emotions.

Emotions drive all our actions. So what do you think love produces? How do you act when you feel love?

How would you act if you felt love towards your body?

Ponder these questions and consider all the beautiful things you can celebrate today!

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Trauma

I’ve talked to many people with binge eating disorder and bulimia who have significant trauma in their lives. If you carry the weight of trauma, big or small, this message is for you.

Your past is in your past. Everything that you’ve done or has been done to you is in the past. 

At this moment, you are safe and okay.

The reason your past still effects you is because the thoughts you have about it at this moment.

And I’m not saying those thoughts are wrong or invalid.

But if your thoughts are creating pain and causing negative cycles in your life, I have good news.

You can change thoughts. You get to think whatever feels good and serves you. Really diving into the deep, uncomfortable thoughts and understanding them in a new way can free you from the weight they cause you.

You deserve to have the pain of your past taken off of your shoulders.

The things that cause you pain don’t have ANY POWER. You have the power. This is a beautiful thing because nobody can take that away from you.

Having trauma and having an eating disorder doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. And when you begin to see that, everything will change.


And in case you are interested in a FREE session with me to see changes in your life, e-mail me at krista@kristacouchcoaching.com

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What if nothing scared you…

What would your life look like if nothing scared you? It would be a lot easier to take risk, right?

While visiting friends in another state and then again this last week in my local church I have attended a meeting with other women where we have talked about fears.

Many women expressed that they worry that they aren’t enough, about their children’s wellbeing or about losing someone they love. These are scary things. But they all have one thing in common. They cause emotions.

What if we had confidence that no matter how intense or painful an emotion is that you have the tools to sit through it.

This is completely possible.

That is what life coaching is, it gives you the tools to handle food and ANYTHING ELSE that you struggle with.

As long as we are afraid to feel our emotions, they will scare us. And we will turn to things that numb us and distract us.

The way to get through them is to simply feel them. Embrace that you are feeling something uncomfortable and know that it will be done soon. And then the happy ending will come a lot sooner.

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Happy Relationships Have Nothing to Do With The Other Person

Happy relationships don’t have a single thing to do with how the other person is acting. If you aren’t happy in a relationship, you have all the power in the world to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it is ok to be in an abusive relationship. Hear me out though.

There have been times where I have needed other people to love me so desperately because I didn’t love myself. If they didn’t love me in the way that I needed them to, I was upset and made myself miserable.

And as long as you depend on someone else to make you feel lovable, you won’t feel lovable. Believe me, I’ve tried it. You have to love yourself in order to feel lovable.

And when you love yourself, it is a lot easier to love and be loved.

Before I met my husband I went through a breakup and I realized something, I was never going to be happy with someone else because I wasn’t happy with myself.

When I met my husband, I was so happy on my own. But he is awesome and I just enjoy loving him. And there aren’t so many unrealistic expectations. I didn’t need him to love me because I already loved me.

So what’s the point of a relationship if you don’t need to be loved by someone?

It’s someone to love. You get to love someone even when they don’t love you. You get to enjoy how amazing the feeling of love is. You don’t tolerate an abusive relationship, but you also don’t expect anyone to be perfect.

It’s freeing, it’s beautiful and it’s definitely worth celebrating. So love yourself and love all the people in your life, it’s such a beautiful feeling. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Trusting Yourself With Food

While I was in treatment, my dietitian literally put me in a room all by myself with all of my fear foods. Which was basically all the foods I would binge on.

I did fine, but probably because I was in a treatment center and didn’t have the option to purge. If I was truly alone I probably wouldn’t have been able to handle myself around all those sweets and rich foods.

So what hadn’t I figured out yet that made me so anxious around those foods?

I needed to feel confident that I was in control of when I would stop eating the food. I was so used to feeling anxiety around food that I believed that I wouldn’t stop eating if I started.

Then I started to look at my problems in a new way and I asked myself new questions.

What if I trusted myself around food? What if I knew I would stop eating just as confidently as I know I will stop drinking water when I’m hydrated?

I would trust myself to eat my meal and then not worry about eating more when I was done. I wouldn’t worry about eating all the cookies because my body will tell me when to stop.

The reason why is because food started to become more neutral and didn’t cause such a big spike in my anxiety. I felt confident around food and then I ate from a place of confidence.

And how does a confident person eat? With balance and love towards themselves. And that’s exactly how I eat now.

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Routines and Recovery

Weekends in recovery can present many challenges. One of those challenges is a change in routine.

It is really important to maintain a routine on the weekend so that you can avoid bingeing and/or purging.

Getting dressed is a good first step. Even if you’re changing into something comfy it sets the tone to the day and makes a difference in how you feel.

Having a plan on when to eat is also an important part of maintaining a routine on the weekend. When you have a plan to nourish your body with tasty and nutritious food, you fill have a huge advantage when you’re faced with an urge to binge.

Additionally, keeping your sleep schedule relatively normal will help you feel energized and productive during the weekend and make Monday a lot easier.

And most importantly, find ways to enjoy your weekend. Whether it’s going out on the town or spending a night cuddled inside, find a way to enjoy yourself.

I hope that you can feel confident that you can maintain recovery even on the weekend. Just take it one day at a time and one meal at a time.

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Emotions

Our emotions determine all the actions we take in our lives. Yet so many people don’t understand what it feels like to experience certain emotions. This is because very few of us actually experience emotions.

Many people resist emotions, react to them by acting out, and distract themselves with food or their phones. It can be so easy to distract or buffer our emotions in our world that has so much abundance, but their can be negative consequences.

An eating disorder is direct consequence of resisting feeling our emotions. While using any disordered eating behaviors, you are escaping your emotions.

I used to be very distant from my emotions and anytime I felt something uncomfortable I’d run away from it.

The solution is learning to feel your feelings.

Understanding what different emotions feel like make all the difference in how well we understand ourselves and why we have a roller coaster relationship with food.

Here is some helpful steps that can help you become more familiar with emotions:

Don’t Judge It

If you judge sadness, anxiety or any other emotion you won’t be able to fully experience it. Just see it as a sensation. Be curious about it instead of scared of it.

Describe It

Go into detail and describe what it feels like. Think about like a scientist would. What does your body feel like? I know when I get sad I feel warm and an empty sensation. When I’m excited, I feel strong and energized.

Name It

Understanding what an emotion is and how you feel it will offer you so much emotional intelligence. You will be able to observe yourself and the actions you take in your life in a whole new way.

The worst that can happen is an emotion. The more you learn to feel your emotions and embrace them, you will experience your life in a new way. There is nothing to be scared of when the worst thing that can happen is an emotion.

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